Stages of Grief – Job Loss

I thought everyone knew about the stages of grief.  When you lose someone you love, you go through five stages of grief.  Well, that’s the theory at least…

Some people go through five, some people skip a stage or two and some people get stuck in one stage and can’t seem to move on.

Why am I talking about this?  Because I see these same stages in people who have lost their job.

They are mourning and everyday I see and hear job candidates who are obviously in a “stage” and need to get through to the “acceptance” part because interviewing in any of the other stages is pointless.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross outlined the stages of grief for those facing their own death as:

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

From a job interview perspective, this is what they look/sound like and why it’s not a good idea to go into an interview with any of these attitudes:

Denial – When asked why you left your last job.  The correct response is not – “I was laid off, but I’m sure they will call me back any day now.”

Why should I hire you, you’re not really looking for a job.  You expect to go back to your former employer.

Anger – You can guess where I’m going with this one.  The answer to why you left your last job should not include any four letter words or expressions that would tempt your grandmother to hand you a bar of soap to use to wash out your mouth.  Also any description of your former employer other than glowing is going to be perceived in a negative way.

Bargaining – I don’t see much of this one in the recruiting world.  I don’t doubt it goes on privately.  Most of what I’ve read and heard about the bargaining stage includes talking with a higher power.

Depression – Oh boy!  Nothing screams “don’t hire me” like someone dragging themselves into an interview, staring at their feet, hair not combed, clothing rumpled, mumbling answers to questions and even (yes, I’ve seen this) crying.

Acceptance – Why did you leave your last job?  The company hit a financial rough patch and had to let some people go.  Unfortunately, one of them was me.  But, I understand why they had to do it.   My time there was a great experience, but now I’m ready for a new and different challenge and am looking for my next great employer.

If you don’t recognize where you are emotionally, ask someone who knows you well.  I bet they can pick out a stage almost instantly.  They will have to be a true friend though because it’s a tough thing to tell someone and even tougher to hear.

I’ve seen people get stuck in Anger for years and not understand why they never get a job offer.  I’ve seen others go straight to the Acceptance stage the day after they’ve been laid off.  Everyone is different.  Don’t be too hard on yourself!

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Author: Nancy Baughman President (nancybpres), Author at Calm Water Business Partner, LLC. She has over twenty years of general management experience in human resources, operations, marketing and finance, predominantly with start-ups and small to mid-size companies.

My Favourite Quotes for Job Seekers

1. "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."

2. "Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. It’s OK to fail. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing."

3. "Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise."

4. "Success doesn’t come to you, you go to it."

5. "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

6. "Combined with passion and perseverance, identifying and leveraging your strengths and aptitudes is the key to any career path."

7. "When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

8. "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

9. "Whatever you can do, or dream you can... begin it; boldness has genius, power and magic in it."

10. "While most are dreaming of success, winners wake-up and work hard to achieve it."

How to Publish an E-Book: Resources for Authors

About the only thing that remains constant in e-book publishing is that it changes—everything from the services to marketing strategies. Here, I’ve attempted to round-up all the good resources I know of related to (1) learning to publish an e-book, (2) finding the right e-publishing services, and (3) staying on top of changes in the industry.
https://janefriedman.com/how-to-publish-an-ebook/
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Author: Jane Friedman has 20 years of experience in the publishing industry, with expertise in digital media strategy for authors and publishers. She's the co-founder and editor of The Hot Sheet, the essential publishing industry newsletter for authors, and the former publisher of Writer's Digest. 

How to "Ace" a Follow-up Job Interview

You recall a friend telling you that at the second job interview level the competition is that much tougher than the first, and the questions you'll receive will be more challenging to answer. This time the employer wants to make sure you're the most qualified of all candidates who've applied.

That means preparing for the new interview even more carefully. Consider doing a little more networking and inquiring from people who've had a similar experience. If possible, talk to a human resources representative who may be willing to give you feedback on your progress. Or if you know an employee at the company, he or she might help you prepare for the next interview.

Never Hurts to Ask . . .

Assure them you're not looking for an unfair advantage or inside information—just support for making wise choices on what to prepare for. If you know the name of the person who will be interviewing perhaps you can gain some insight into that individual's personality and interviewing style.

Once you've reached the second job interview, keep your cool. Remember how well you did the first time. Something you said or did won you this current opportunity so you don't want to change your approach. Answer questions in a friendly yet forthright way, citing an example to back up the response whenever you can.

For example, if you're asked about your problem-solving ability, avoid a general response such as "I'm pretty good at restoring tranquility after chaos." Instead share a specific incident: (example) "During a power outage at my previous place of employment when all computers went down, I gathered the employees in my department together and led a discussion on how to remain calm in a crisis so that everyone benefits. I received the Employee of the Year Award for having turned the tide at the company during that time."

By the time you've gotten to the second interview, you will likely be meeting with a high-level company executive. The interview may allow time for informal conversation so he or she can get to know more about you on a personal level. Be ready and willing to share a few anecdotes and experiences from your life outside the office. Keep in mind that the interviewer will be hiring an individual, not just a professional.

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Author: Jimmy Sweeney is the president of CareerJimmy and author of the brand new "Secret Career Document" job landing system.